TO: Brown, Sherrod Campbell (9-NOV-1952 – Present)
TO: Portman, Robert Jones (19-DEC-1955 – Present)
Senatorial Courtesy for Mr. Reid, Harry Mason (2-DEC-1939 – Present). Sens Brown and Portman, I do hereby officially request that you make Mr. Reid, Harry Mason aware of this correspondence and give him the chance to reply.
Mr Reid, I am writing to you today to make you aware of something you would rather not hear. I have written Senators Brown and Portman (OH) to have them contact you about this, since you do not accept emails from non-Nevadans.
You have recently tripled-down on your statement that Presidential hopeful Mitt Romney has not paid taxes in the past decade.
Mr Reid, I do understand that you’re a politician. But you used to be human. And you once had a strong code of personal honour. Is it still there? We will shortly find out.
Mr Reid, based on the code of personal honour that you once had, I order you to either;
1) PROVE your allegations that Mr Romney, Willard Mitt (12-MAR-1947 – Present (so you cannot state that you know “several” Mr Mitt Romneys.)) has not paid taxes in 10 years. IRON-CLAD Proof, Mr Reid. –or-
2) RETRACT your statements on the floor of the Senate, where you publicly made your baseless and groundless accusations. –AND- apologize to the aforementioned Mitt Romney (in private if you wish. You won’t even have to mean it. But face must be saved.
3) RESIGN from your position and from politics effective immediately. –or-
4) Commit seppuku. (Japanese ritual suicide.)
You have 21 days.
You have besmirched the aforementioned Mr Romney’s honour and seem to believe that it carries no consequences. You are about to learn otherwise.
FAILING THESE FOUR CHOICES, the National Couro Prido will declare you an ‘honourless bastard’ and will in fact spit upon you after shouting out those words.
Do you still have honour, Mr Reid? Or was that yet another lie?
You see, Mr Reid, I have a code of honour. And I live by it. BUT, you are a democrat, so I’m quite sure that you or someone from your party will ‘accidently’ pull my credit report and work history. I’ll make it easy for you. The last four of my SSN is ****. There, so easy even you can do it.
Senators Portman and Brown, I greatly appreciate your passing this on to Mr Reid. Failing to do so would result in my being disappointed in both of you. Please, let us not go down that path.
Birosh, Greg (redacted) (xx-ABC-1234 – Present.) There, so easy that the DHS under Ms Clownitano and Mr Holder can do it.
YOU ARE ALL MADE AWARE THAT ANY AGENTS, OFFICER(S) YOU SEND HERE WILL BE SEARCHED AND ANY NON-DECLARED WEAPONS CONFISCATED. They will be returned after the interview, or after they are ordered to leave.