Report: Twitter is 40% 'Pointless Babble'

The link: http://www.cnbc.com/id/32446935

I really wish I could say that this surprised me, but given whom it's mostly targetted to, SNERTS, it really doesn't.

Yes, I used that old-time word again ... a SNERT. Granted, many people using Twitter aren't SNERTS, but a good percentage of them are. So what is a SNERT?

Snot Nosed Egotistical Rampaging Teen. I will note here that one does not have to be a teenager to be a SNERT, only to have the maturity level (and IQ) of one.

The report gave an example of the "pointless babble" - the classic "I'm having a sandwich." Yes, SNERT, I really needed to know this. My day, nay - my month is now complete. I may rest easy and sleep very well tonight knowing that you're having a sandwich. Perhaps you should do something a tad more constructive with your time, such as;

- learn proper spelling, grammar, and punctuation.
- learn how to add a restaurant bill without a calculator.
- get involved in your local community.
- give blood.

The list is virtually endless. Instead, you've told the world you're having a sandwich. How dreadfully boring.

The report gave a rundown on the percentages of what's being sent, of what the "Tweets" were, to use the parlance.

8.7% of the messages had "pass-along" value. I'm assuming for the moment that we're past the school-yard mentality of "Joe's wearing his mama's bloomers ... pass it on!" Of course, it could also be along the lines of "Steve, our Senator is MIA from his town-hall meeting. What do you say we get some others together and picket in front of his office? Or is he hiding in the union hall again? Damn Democrat!"

5.9% were of the 'self-promotion' variety. This could along the lines of "Hey, I'm hung like a horse!" Or it could be "Common...visit my blog at

You know you want to!" Of course, that example could also count as spam.

3.8% were spam, according to the report. This could be the example I gave earlier, or any of a myriad of others.

37.5% were conversational. "Jill, Doug and I were on our way to the mall. Did you want us to swing by and pick you up?" "Thanks, I'll be ready in 15. My hair's a fright. Is your girlfriend Mary coming, too?" "No, she got grounded. Again." "Bummer."

And 40.5% were of the pointless babble variety. This, obviously, included the classic "I'm having a sandwich" but I'm willing to bet that they missed the one that I'm sure somebody put out "I just picked my nose." Of course, it could also be along the lines of "You know, that Sarah Lane is hot! She's beautiful!" "You mean the one from TechTV?" "Ayup." Although, that could also count as conversational, although I'd term it good taste.

But there you have it. 40.% of tweets were pointless babble. Just when I thought it couldn't get any worse.