We Did, and He Did

(The following is an email I just sent to Us Weekly.  Unfortunately, my neighbour's daughter did not recharge the camera's batteries, so there are no photographs.  We'll be sure that doesn't happen next time.)

Dear Us Weekly;

       I am not a subscriber.  Nonetheless, I did purchase this particular magazine in order to better determine for myself exactly what the fuss was all about, and, if necessary, to teach my neighbour's puppy Bruno to pee on it (if it was as bad as I'd heard.)

       You'll be pleased to know that nine-month old Bruno took a liking to your magazine, for he happily urinated and then deficated on it.  Unfortunately, Lisa (my neighbour's daughter) neglected to recharge the batteries in the digital camera, so there are no photographs of the event.

       But it did take place this afternoon at 16:57hrs local time.

       This is what your 'product' has become.  The job of a reporter is to report the news fairly, impartially, and without political bias.  With your smear issue against Gov Palin and her family, you have crossed that line.

       Frankly, if I were in charge there, I would hand all of you your walking papers and escort you out.

       Let us not forget how Rolling Stone, another Jann Wenner publication, attempted to deify Mr Obama recently.  And the other Wenner publications also cast Obama in a very favourable light.

       Your job, if you were unbiased, would have been to attempt to balance the article(s) about both of them.  Again, you have failed.

       I am not a subscriber, nor do I wish to become one.  Yet if you were to throw five free issues my way, feel free.  I would make quite certain that Lisa (my neighbour's daughter) had fully recharged the camera's batteries to ensure that we could photograph Bruno as he again deficated and urinated upon them.

       I would tell you to provide unbiased coverage, but you would not.  I have already contacted your subscribers, but fear that they don't want to lose the cash cow that your products are. 

       So, I do the only thing I can - I speak out against you.

       Don't bother replying.  Your address (and domain name) has been added to AOL's and Astaro's spam filters.

Oh...and what's on Us Weekly's site right now?

'

OK...remember, I'm not too bright according to my ex-wife.  But what, exactly, do Gov Palin's glasses have to do with what kind of Vice President she'd make??

Or did I miss something again?

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